The Potent Secret About Pregnancy

Being pregnant leads to a lot of complications. Today’s expectant mothers have a long list of things that we can’t consume (caffeine, NutraSweet, lunch meat, alcohol, unpasteurized cheese, nitrates…) , and that we can’t do (stand too long, exercise too much, play contact sports).

While these things are widely known, there is a secret that no pregnant lady is talking about, but husbands across the globe are coping with every day.

Flatulence.

While the kid is in there, taking up space, other organs have to shift to make room. This can cause some intestinal troubles. Mix this with a change in diet, some pretty intense vitamins (have you seen the size of those things?!) and it is a recipe for some pretty serious farts.

Here’s where my problem gets unique: I’m a school teacher. I can’t just shut the door to the cubicle, visit the restroom, or even leave a crowded area when I’m experiencing the less pleasant side effects of pregnancy.

I’ve bought an Airwick. And moved my favorite students to the back of the room.

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3 thoughts on “The Potent Secret About Pregnancy

    1. They have! I wrote my model narrative (I teach 7th grade) about “farting” and the kids appreciated my openness and honesty. They’ve been really generous and more than fair about things, and usually pretend not to notice!

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  1. I love it!! My boyfriend has a serious problem with farting after dairy, and while we worked in a group home for boys ages 11-18, he’d use it to his advantage: if there was a kid who was upset, he’d walk up to them and start talking, trying to connect with him, and he’d let it rip and be like “Did you hear that frog??!” and then keep talking. And every time he’d fart, he’d say something about the frogs, and the boy would be in tears laughing by the end of it. Good luck with the funnier side of pregnancy, congratulations, and nice writing today!

    Liked by 1 person

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