My Toddler Won’t Stop Stealing My Wallet

In the last 6 months, I have had to replace my debit card more times than I’d like to admit. I am quick to notice and cancel the missing cards, but it is annoying to have to go through the trouble of replacing them, and then updating our payment information in our various e-pay accounts.

The first time it happened, I blamed my working mom brain, and figured that I had left it in a winter coat pocket, or in a school bag, but cancelled it immediately instead of waiting for it to turn up.

The next time it happened I was really frustrated with myself, and swore that it would never happen again. Once again, though, I cancelled the card, and once again had to update all of our accounts.

Then, a day later, the card turned up in a cabinet in the kitchen, underneath the paper bags, wedged through the corner of the door.

Suspicious, I opened all of the cabinets and drawers, and was rewarded with finding the card that had been lost weeks before. That’s when I realized the sad truth; my two year old is stealing my debit cards.

In a bit of awe, I watched him from a distance the other day. He quietly dragged a chair over to the counter, boosted himself up, and then dragged Patrick’s wallet to the edge. He then snuck the wallet into another room, and proceeded to dislodge its entire contents, strewing them around himself on the floor. When he started to pick up the pieces and search for hiding places, I put an end to the covert mission and reassembled the contents.

My two year old has the weirdest sense of humor. Maybe he’s trying to become a pirate, and is practicing hiding his bounty. He’s becoming quite the buccaneer. This week, my license showed up behind the wash sink of the laundry room. No one’s looking there again anytime soon- it’s about a good a place as any desert island.

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